


Scientist

by soldiermom1973



Series: 1,000 years (A Reconciliation Story) [19]
Category: Mass Effect (Comics), Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect - Various Authors, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Filler, Gen, N7 Month 2019, N7 month, scientist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:27:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21513064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldiermom1973/pseuds/soldiermom1973
Summary: Kaidan & Allie talk about the group they rescued on Arrae.
Relationships: Female Shepard & Garrus Vakarian, Kaidan Alenko & Female Shepard, Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Series: 1,000 years (A Reconciliation Story) [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1460416
Kudos: 6





	Scientist

**Author's Note:**

> For [N7 Month](https://n7month.tumblr.com/post/188450175349/n7-month-challenge) over on tumblr; this prompt was 'scientist'. When I saw the prompt, I immediately thought of Mordin, but I figured everyone else would, too, so I wanted to try a different route & I remembered saving Jacob & the Cerberus defectors and thought it would be another good chance to talk about Allie & Kaidan's relationship (or lack thereof) during the war.

“Jacob fucking Taylor. Can you believe it?”

Allie chuckled and shook her head. “No, I didn't. Not at first. I'm glad he got away from Cerberus, though. He said he never trusted them but they were the only ones doing any good in the galaxy.”

“Kind of what you said when you saved my ass on Omega,” Garrus agreed.

They were in the mess hall, still in disbelief that of all the people they'd run into again, it was Jacob Taylor and that he had not only left Cerberus, but that he was also protecting a large group of Illusive's best scientists and their families who had also defected. When they arrived on Arrae, Allie couldn't believe there were actual families at that facility and she was actually pretty pissed about it – it completely changed the logistics and made things a hell of a lot more complicated. Kaidan was the one to talk her down, reminding her how Illusive would have probably gone after those families once the scientists' betrayal was discovered. She realized he was right and while it still put her stress levels through the roof, she wasn't as angry about it as she was when Jacob told her.

Garrus was in the middle of telling Allie a story about he and Jacob arguing over calibrating the Thanix cannon when Traynor's soft voice came over the comms.

“Commander, Major Alenko wanted to speak with you.”

Allie and Garrus stared at each other for a few moments, her heart pounding in her chest so hard she was certain he could hear it.

“Is it urgent?” she asked.

“I'm not sure, Commander. He just wanted me to let you know he was in the crew quarters and asked if you would please stop by to see him.”

Traynor sounded uncomfortable – it was pretty common knowledge on the Normandy that Kaidan and Allie had a history and while things were (barely) civil between the two of them, the tension was still so thick sometimes you could cut it with a knife. She probably knew her message wasn't one Allie wanted to hear, but she was obligated to deliver it.

“Noted Traynor. Thanks.” Allie sighed and spun her coffee cup.

Garrus studied her for a few moments before speaking. “Do you know what he might want?” he asked.

“Oh, I'm sure it's no coincidence he wants to talk immediately after we save a bunch of Cerberus people,” Allie grumbled. “It pisses me off, Garrus. It fucking hurts. He had the nerve to tell me in the hospital he was wrong about me, that he still cared, but when push came to shove, he almost believed Udina when that bastard said I was still with Cerberus.”

She struggled to keep her voice from cracking. Tactically, having Kaidan back on board was one of the best decisions she ever made. Emotionally, it was killing her. Yes, he said he'd have her back. Yes, he said he'd never doubt her again, but Allie just couldn't find it in her heart to believe him.

“I know, I was there,” Garrus soothed.

Allie sighed, sniffed, and took another drink from her mug. “And now this. Garrus, I swear on all that's holy, if he asks if I knew anything or hints in anyway that he thinks I know more than I'm telling him, I'm going to have Javik help me throw him out of the airlock.”

“I'll help,” Garrus said, standing with her. “But honestly, Shepard, I really think he's sorry and he wants to make things right.”

Allie let out a 'hmph' and walked to the crew quarters. “I'll let you know if I need your help with anything,” she called over her shoulder.

When she stepped inside the small room, Kaidan was at a table facing the door, like he was waiting for her. His face lit up when he saw her and Allie's heart almost melted.... at least until she remembered how hurt she still was. She plastered a smile on her face, not caring how forced it might look, and sat across from him.

“So, Traynor said you wanted to talk,” she said, leveling an even gaze at him.

Kaidan pressed his lips together and lowered his gaze. “I've been sitting here thinking... So those Cerberus scientists, they were good people.”

Allie frowned, not sure what his point was. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, Dr. Cole and her team. They seem like.. like good people. Knowing that, what do we do? What if there are more like them trapped inside Cerberus struggling to get out?”

Allie leaned back in the seat, surprised this was what Kaidan wanted to talk to her about. “Well, what do you think we should do?” she asked. She knew damn well what she'd do if she found herself in a similar situation, but she wondered if Kaidan's answer would be the same.

“I don't know, Shepard, these are the hard calls. I mean, the decision to sacrifice the one for the many? A choice to leave someone behind? Until you're in that moment...” He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. “So, yeah, you know, I don't know.”

Allie watched him for a few moments before she answered, wondering if he would have left Dr. Cole, Jacob, and that team to die if the decision had been his. “Kaidan, anyone that comes forward, like these people, we help. No matter what. That's the best we can do. If someone wants out of Cerberus, we do what we can to get them out.”

“I know,” Kaidan murmured, staring at his hands.

“Sometimes the best we can do won't feel like enough, but it's all we've got.”

Kaidan nodded, stood, and started pacing. “So, the scientists that put you back together, that saved your life, they were good people?”

A vice clamped around Allie's chest. When Kaidan asked about helping people who wanted out of Cerberus, she hoped that was all he wanted, but she knew deep down this was going to turn into some type of quiz about her loyalty.

“They were professionals,” Allie said quietly. “I didn't know them all.”

“And the Illusive man?” Kaidan wouldn't look at her. It was like he knew he was treading on dangerous ground, risking damaging their tenuous friendship even further.

“What about him?” Allie asked.

“Was he a good person? Once? Ever?”

Allie sighed and leaned back in the chair. “Well, he gave me what I needed to stop the Collectors.”

“Right. Exactly. So you never saw this coming from him?”

He quickly spun around, realizing how his question probably sounded. “I'm sorry, I just... I'm not sure what I want you to say here. I'm just looking for some sort of insight on the Illusive Man.”

 _Insight, hm?_ Allie thought to herself as her sinuses started to burn. She took a few moments to compose herself, knowing if she spoke now, her emotions would get the best of her. She realized, too, that it actually did make sense – she spoke directly with the Illusive Man on more than one occasion. It wasn't wrong for Kaidan to think she might have known he'd be like this; it was like someone would have asked if she would have seen Kaidan ever doubting her.

“There are people who probably know better than me,” Allie demurred. “Like Miranda, but since she isn't here...”

Allie took another deep breath before continuing. “Back then he wanted the best for humanity and he had resources to spare,” she murmured, staring at her hands. “But then it became humanity first and at any cost and that... that's a very different thing. But this? No, I never saw this coming from him.”

Kaidan hummed a response. “Ok,” he nodded, sitting back down.

Allie waited for a few more moments to see if he needed anything else. He clasped his hands in front of him and gave her a warm smile.

“Thanks, Allie,” Kaidan said. “I'm glad we could talk about this.”

“Sure thing, Kaidan,” Allie smiled at him, but it felt forced and when the door slid shut behind her, she leaned against the bulkhead and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure how she felt – part of her knew if the situation was reversed and she wanted to know what made the Illusive Man tick, she'd have gone to Kaidan, but part of her couldn't help but feel like he only asked her as a test of her loyalty, like her answers were being scored as a way to judge whether or not she could be trusted.

A lone tear slipped down her cheek and she wondered if she'd ever believe Kaidan trusted her like he used to.


End file.
